So, a week ago, I gave birth

Specifically I gave birth to a 10 pound, 5 ounce baby girl named Taran Jack Manley, 22 and a half inches long with a full head of hair and eyebrows (the delivery team seemed the most impressed with the eyebrows.)

I’ve already posted the log of Twitter posts that Kip, Dylan and I made during the process. This here is more about the whys-and-where-ores and my feelings about the whole thing.

First off, I’ve known for quite a while that Taran was a big baby and there were already concerns about my delivering her via my birth canal at 34 weeks, given the information gathered at that week’s ultrasound. So I was being prepped for the idea of an early induced delivery or a c-section from then on.

My doctor and I decided to plan to go to full term and see how things developed, deciding that if I didn’t deliver by my 40th week, we’d induce then. Which is exactly what happened.

So we started inducement, my cervix being “ripe” but not effaced nor dilated. Over 24 hours later I had achieved active labor but my cervix was only 50% effaced dilated one centimeter–you need to be at 10 centimeters before you start pushing.

I was given a choice–keep working towards full effacement and 10 centimeters or c-section. Oddly, this threw me, I didn’t expect to actually have to chose. Even though I chose inducement and was prepared for c-section, I ultimately believed birth to be a random event that was out of my hands.

I was glad to be able to talk it out with my support group–Kip, Mom, Dylan, Patrick, Bill and Katie–before coming to the decision that a c-section was probably the best way to go. I was exhausted and and uncomfortable and couldn’t see going another 10 to 20 hours of labor with no guarantee a successful vaginal delivery.

Quick side note– I was glad of my support group, period. Besides all the words of support and errand running, having them around, kibitzing in the background, throwing out commentary on what was on the TV and making bad jokes was very comforting and relaxing to me. It made the birthing suite feel homey and friendly in a big way, countering any anxiety I might have had.

The c-section seemed a very remote way to give birth. I had no feeling form my sternum down and there was a sheet between me and the action. (Thankfully my mom, an RN of 30 plus years had no qualms of taking pictures of the entire procedure for me)

But I only really felt anxiety and frustration in the ten minutes between Taran’s delivery to when I could actually see her. Meanwhile everyone else in the room not only got to see her but touch her. i didn’t even get to hold Taran until the recovery room and then after they did some tests on me first.

I felt much better when I could finally hold my little passenger of the last nine months. And I was right, holding her on the outside is so much better than holding her within.

I also felt better about making the decision for c-section when my doctor told me there was no way she would have delivered Taran vaginally. The reason my cervix didn’t efface and open was that Taran was never engaged in the birth canal, she was basically bouncing on my pubic bone, her head was transverse and even though the doctor felt that she might have had success in delivering our daughter’s big head, her line backer shoulders would’ve been impossible.

More pictures of Taran’s arrival can be found in sets made by Bill Mudron, Kip Manley (aka Poppa) and me.