World’s oldest thingie
December 5th, 2003
So, some scientists discovered a 425 million year-old fossil recently that they decided to name “Colymbosathon ecplecticos - derived from the Greek for “astounding swimmer with a large penis.”
Can you guess what they got excited about with this fine specimen? As they made no mention of the oldest vagina, one must assume they were all carefree and gay back then.
I’m sure most of the spammers who hit me would’ve been disappointed to hear these experts proclaim that his “copulatory organ is large and stout.� Pity they didn’t conclusively find a female and report on the condition of her, ah, lips.
Filed under Sex & Gender |5 Responses to “World’s oldest thingie”
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Funny, when i’d heard that somebody has unearthed a rotting colossal dick, i immediately thought that they’d exhumed Strom Thurmond’s fucking *corpse*.
Anyway, you’ve inspired me to try and become the world’s first icthygynocologist, though. I can see myself now, on PBS, with a GIANT illustrated map of the Blue Whale’s 20-meter-long Mons Venus, explaining to the press how having sex with the now-fossilized whale must’ve been like throwing a hot dog down a hallway for our primtive ancestors…
Heavens help me, I can see it too…
i hope they name her (the next woman found) “Vapclothius Huginicus Enormteaticus” which is greek meaning “twittery seamstress with big vagina and large boobs.” I’d go to the museum to see that.
JOKE. joke.
But yeah, that is pretty funny, the name they came up with. What do you think the “swimmer” things about? Did he have broad shoulders? Gills? Either way, I hope I get that on my tombstone.
Christopher Baldwin
1973 - 20??
Astounding swimmer
with a large penis
Oh wait, doh! The fossil is not a person. I didn’t link through to the article before writing it. Makes much more sense now and I make much less sense now. This is not unusual.
No, no, I still think your original post works–after all, even though it was a crustacean they were excited about the penis ’cause it symbolizes “man.”
I swear, us people and our anthropomorphic tendencies…
Though your suggested name for a female equivalent sounds strikingly like a title of a Monty Python sketch.