Homecooking

This kinda a follow-up to my earlier entry on dining.

Like I said, when Kip and I go out to eat, it’s ov er at a friend’s house more often than not. Almost all our friends have at least one or two things they can cook and cook well. In the same way I enjoy scoping out the books, video and Cds that people keep out in public, I like seeing what people choose to cook.

For example, I was very charmed the time Christopher had us over for dinner and actually used the lasagna recipe printed at the back of Bruno book 3, These Troubled Soles. (And, oh yes, it was yummy)

Actually been treated to quite a bit of lasagna lately, a nice veggie one at Elaine and Mark’s a couple of weeks ago and then a few days after that John and Becca brought over a white lasagna that John made full of tasty things like spinach, artichokes and green olives. It was made with a white sauce because John has a sensitivity to tomatoes. Which is actually what prevented us having a lasagna when Victoria and Johnzo had all four of us over a few weeks ago. Instead, we had a tofurkey dinner with all the trimmings— the first time Kip and I have had tofurkey, which is a feat considering Kip has been a vegetarian since we first got together about nine years ago.

Before this dinner, the first we had with Johnzo and Victoria, Johnzo emailed to find out any dietary restrictions we might have, remembering that one of us was vegetarian. I wrote back not only mine and Kip’s, but John and Becca’s as well.

Many of my friends have this small part of their brains dedicated to their people’s eating preferences and needs. Everyone I know has something they can’t or won’t eat, from lactose intolerance to cutting out wheat to citrus allergies to nausea when confronted with soy sauce. Not to mention temporary fasts and diets. (Just try getting all these people together to share one meal. Oy.)

When most of the vegetarians you know dislike eggplant, you just can’t assume anything when you invite people to dinner. Gets stressful at times.

So when my co-worker, Chelsea, read aloud the following questionnaire composed by her husband Brian Vandiver, I had to laugh. And share:

Please print and fill out this form and return to us at least seven days prior to tentative dinner date.

WHAT YOU EAT
Choose only one of the below:

Omnivore (eat damn near anything or the-world-is-made-of-food)
Carnivore (eat meat only)
Herbivore/Vegan (eat plants only)
Piscivore (eat fish only)
Vegetarian (Limited Omnivore or a-herbivore-that-likes-dairy)

POLITICAL DIET LIMITATIONS
Choose as many that apply:

Will eat GMO’s (If you know what GMO stands for, you know whether or not you eat them. If you don’t know, don’t worry about it.)

List all foods currently boycotting (Be brand specific if necessary. Use separate sheet if needed. Don’t list why.)

Eat only Organic Foods (If the word “organic” doesn’t invoke an instant definition then don’t worry about it.)

DIET LIMITATIONS
Intolerances and Allergies. (i.e. Lactose, gluten, peanuts)
List everything. Start with those things that could kill you. For just plain
picky people this is a good area to list those foods you flat out just don’t like. If you are a recovering Alcoholic and can’t have alcohol even in your food please list. Write on back if necessary.

Religious or fasting:
Are you a practicing Catholic?
Does the date fall during Lent?
Practicing Jew?
Do you eat pork?
Are you fasting for any reason?
Islamic?
Does the date fall during Ramadan?
Please write in any religious food restrictions not listed above.

ETHIC FOODS
Circle those you don’t want. Put stars by the ones you love. Ones with stars or left not circled need to have a an “AM” after them signifying Americanized or an “AU” signifying Authentic.

Mexican
Japanese
Chinese
Moroccan
Ethiopian
Italian
Soul Food
German
Spanish
French
Russian
Greek
Thai
Astronaut
Tex-Mex
Cajun
East Indian
Mediterranean
White Trash
California Fusion
Other____________

ON A DIET
Circle all that apply:

Atkins
Caveman
Low Carb.
High Carb.
Yo-yo
SeeFood
High Protein
No Protein
Meat only
Deal-a-meal (bring your own cards)
Calorie Counting
Other_____________

GUESTS
Choose one only:

I like to eat alone.
I don’t like assholes or bitches.
I think assho les and bitches are just misunderstood little kids in grown-up bodies. I don’t mind eating with groups of people as long as there are no surprise guests that I haven’t been notified of.
I like kids.
I like kids but not while I’m trying to eat.
I don’t like kids.
I like people who talk constantly.
I like quite, shy people.
I’ll bring someone.

ATMOSPHERE

Do you like to dress up?
Do you hate to dress up?
Does it really bother you to dress up and then end up watching Will and Grace while drinking coffee at 8 o’clock at night?
Does it bother you to wear sweats and end up drinking a hundred dollar bottle of wine while discussing the finer points of Post-Modernism with a renowned author?
Do you have a hard time seeing in low light?
List all music you prefer not to hear or that you will make fun of.

THE DATE
Choose one:

A date cemented in stone.
A flexible date, penciled in and subject to change by the slightest whim orfancy.
A date of your choosing.
A date of my choosing.
A suggestion that you can mull over and not get back to me until that morning.

GIFTS
Please specify what makes you feel most comfortable:

Should I ask you to bring something?
If so, would you like it to be something you can buy at the store?
Do you not like bringing something?
Do you feel pressured to show up with a $15.00 bottle of wine?
Do you like to cook and want at least one thing on the table you know you can eat?

Thanks for taking the time. This will help make the evening enjoyable for everyone.